Unit 14 LGBTQ

Heteronormativity is the idea that heterosexuality is the only form of acceptable sexuality and along with that idea comes traditional and even strict gender roles. I could not disagree with this concept anymore. I am in a heterosexual marriage and still believe that there are no such thing as "gender roles". I look at my relationship and we both feel that we are an equal partnership; we both work, cook, clean, balance the check book, be active, and make decisions together. The idea of traditional gender roles drives me crazy because it creates unrealistic expectations and confusion for individuals, no matter what sexual orientation they are. Heteronormativity creates feelings of uncertainty and dislike for oneself for individuals who may be questioning their own sexuality because the expectation is unrealistic and even unreachable. Truth be told many of the same-sex couples I know are no different then their heterosexual counterparts. Like blended and step-families my hope is that the LQBTQ will one day be widely accepted and respected. You don not have to agree with someones choices to respect them. 

Unit 13 Intersectionality

The theory of intersectionality reminds a lot of the movie the Butler starring Forest Whitaker as an African American butler in the White House. He worked with many American Presidents during the civil rights movement. As a young man he lived on a plantation with his family in the South where she witnessed his father being killed by the plantation owner who was raping his mother and his mother becoming mute. He eventually leaves the plantation and gets training from a master server eventually landing a job at the White House. While there he was witness to many presidential decisions regarding race in America, such as the first integrated school and the Voting Rights Act.

It was interesting watching this film and the perspective of a black man working for a white man who was in such a position of power. Eventually color was blind in the White House and even the president's would go to him for advice. This movie was a perfect example of what living during the civil rights movement was like, only instead of the typical of from the view of an activist or slave, it was from a black man who held a prestigious position. Despite his position in the White House he was still dealing with being black in a time where being black was not acceptable. I most enjoyed watching his internal struggle between respecting the decisions of the President's and the freedom of his people.

Unit 12 Conflict Theory

Conflict is unfortunately a necessary evil in our relationships with others. The picture above is a collage of words in regards to conflict. I know for me personally these words come into my mind when I am dealing with conflict with others as well as myself. With conflict brings positive and negative outcomes within our relationships, but one thing is for sure, with conflict relationships will change as a result of conflict. 

Conflict resolution is important to teach in order to help individuals become more successful in their relationships. I liked this picture because the collage of words are the words that need to be used to help overcome conflict in a positive manner. 

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Unit 11 Feminism Family Theory

In my blog today I would like to compare feminism in our society to feminism in other countries. Like mentioned in our readings, cultural differences can change the role of feminism in a society. Although feminism in Japan is attributed to a huge influx of Western influence in Japanese culture, it also differs from Western feminism by focusing less on the individual. Prior to the nineteenth century women were taught to obey any man they came into contact with. There were women being sold and forced into staying in unhappy and/or violent relationships. when the feudal system was abolished women could no longer be sold, women were allowed to request a divorce, and both boys and girls received an elementary education. Then like their Western counterparts women gained the right to vote and the sexes became more equal. Where they differed was Japanese women wanted equality for both sexes from the oppression of society, not equality with men.

In India feminist are like many of there Western counterparts. They to want equality amongst the genders. Indian women want equal pay, political rights, and equal access to education and healthcare. Unlike Westerners, Indian feminists face a unique sense of discrimination due to India's patriarchal society. Sex-selective abortion is a major issue that has been plaguing feminists in india for two decades, but unfortunately as it stands a man has right to terminate a pregnancy if the sex of the baby is undesired. 

In Egypt women were once considered o be equal. Many of Egypt's literature and artwork depict women having equal if not more power then men. When Europe began to invade Egypt those views quickly shifted, and women in Egypt are fighting for equality. Some of the unique issues feminists face in Egypt are on the issues of marriage. Feminists have fought unsuccessfully to raise the age to legally get married as well as the abolition of polygamy. 

It is clear to me that women all across the world are facing issues of social inequalities. Cultural differences play a role in what social issues feminists will be fighting to make equal and/or abolish. Women have come a long way in many retrospects but still have a long way to becoming equal with our male counterparts. 

Unit 10: Social Exchange Theory

As we continue working through this class I find myself amazed at how all these moments in my life fall into "theories", but non has as hit more close to home as the social exchange theory. I truly believe that people choose and stay in relationships based on the rewards they are receiving from the relationship. the opposite is true as well, you leave relationships that are becoming to costly for the individual. I also believe that individuals will stay or leave a relationship based on their self-esteem or perception of themselves as an ideal partner. There is a particular movie that comes to mind when I think of this theory and that is Hitch with Will Smith. He is a self-proclaimed dating expert and helps men find their ideal partner with the use of high-risk initiation strategies. That article we read about the study done on individuals who viewed themselves as ideal partners said resulted in high risk for a higher reward. That is what Will Smith's character believed as well. He took men who did not consider themselves ideal partners and guided them into becoming ideal partners for he type of ideal partner they wanted. Ironically he could not ultimately guide his own love life. 

"The biggest risk is not taking any risk...In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risk." -Mark Zuckerberg

Unit 9: Ecological Systems Analysis

First off let me begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading about this system. I have always believed that individuals are a product of both their biological and external influences. I get to see that first hand in my classroom everyday teaching student's with mental illness. In my blog I want to give an example of one particular student who I have had for 4 years and describe their external and biological influences using the systems from this unit.

My student, let's call him Jim, is a 10 year old boy with bipolar disorder, ADHD, severe depression, and PTSD. His microsystem consisted of a mom on drugs, a dad in and out of jail, a grandmother who was trying her best but struggled with her own mental illness, an older brother who was taken by DCF, peers who are equally troubled, and a teacher who was willing to look beyond that. Jim's exosystem was his neighborhood which is covered in trash, and riddled with gang members and violence. The media Jim is exposed was local news showing the negativity of the neighborhood he lives in and the people he considers "family" were constantly being shown on the news as having committed a crime. His mesosystem was parent who never came to scheduled parent/teacher meetings, who spoke badly about the teacher that Jim actually adored and felt loved by, and school that was so frustrated with his mother leaving him at school that they began calling the cops at 2:30 to take him home because mom was not showing up. His macrosystem was very damaged. His family were not law abiding citizens and neither were their friends. The only values instilled in Jim were that no one is going to look out for you so do what you need to no matter the consequences. Lastly, his chronosystem was filled with events such as death, arrest of loved ones, contact with drugs, and a teacher who for four years never gave up. Jim had all the cards stacked against him at only 10 years old, and there were plenty of times I felt like giving up on him. I saw Jim make some good progress and even worse upsets. I wish I could say that my influence was enough to help Jim but the truth is it was not. His external and biological influences were against him, no matter how hard he tried at times. Jim is now in middle school with an arrest record and several baker-acts. 

Unit 7 Family Systems Theory

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success."-Henry Ford

I really enjoy this quote by Henry Ford and have actually used it for several years in my classroom. In my blog I want to address the movie we saw I don't Know How She Does It. This movie brought a very real experience in my life that I am currently going through. I am 28 years old and have always been successful at most things I have attempted to do. I also have this fun habit of taking on to much and not wanting to say no to anybody or anything I care about. Currently I work full-time, nanny everyday after work, have a home to take care of, two dogs, training for a marathon (which surprisingly takes up a lot of time), do patrols at my school and hospitality, and am taking three classes. Did I mention I just found out that all of this was overwhelming prior to me finding out my husband is being deployed October 17th! I kept telling myself that I could handle this and it was no big deal, I mean what's one more responsibility. But before I knew I was at home crying telling my husband I was quitting everything!!! He helped talk me through it and we created a plan for when he leaves on how I will complete all these tasks. Many times we like to think we can do it all but the truth is we take on to much and don't stop until we are no longer in balance. Equilibrium is important in a family and takes all members in the family to help achieve that. Like in my case my husband and mom helped me during my time of crisis and unbalance within my family. 

Unit 6: Family Stress Theory

Family stress theory focuses on a crisis that takes place within a family, the resources they have available, and the definition/perception of the event. Many families go through periods of crisis including mine and I never though to put a label on that process, but now having this information I have begun to take another look at some of the harder times my family has faced. In my blog I am going to give one example from my family in which resources and perceptions did help change the potential outcome of the event.


The event that took place was one of ambiguous loss. Back when I was in my senior year of college my grandfather who was not even 70 had an accident and he slipped and fell. Now don't get me wrong he was not the perfection of health but certainly no where near death. When my grandfather was taken to the hospital he was looked over and given a clean bill health, the doctor however did have him stay overnight just in case there was an issue with his spleen. Long story short my grandfather ended up slipping into a coma due to fluid in his lung. Despite being seen by a respiratory therapist some how they missed the fluid. After a week in the hospital my grandfather passed away. If that wasn't enough my sister and I both were at the end of our semesters with finals around the corner. Fortunately my family had a lot of resources to help get us through this, financial and support from friends. Our perception of the event was despite being sad and angry with the hospital we did not want to see my grandfather suffer so we were relieved when he finally passed. I learned that day how important perception and resources can be when dealing with a crisis. My friends supported me through a very difficult time and without them I would have felt lost. They allowed me to be sad and upset but kept my perception of the event grounded, reminding me that he was suffering and better off.

Unit 5 Family Development Theory

  

The family development theory talks about the stages of life that we all experience; married couple, childbearing, preschool age, school age, teenage, launching center, middle aged parents, and aging family members. I chose the images from the two Father of the Bride movies because I believe that these movies perfectly show this theory in action. The first Father of the Bride deals with Steve Martin's character dealing with the idea that his daughter is going to be getting married, Launching Center and Middle aged parent stages. Throughout the movie the father is reminiscing on when his daughter was younger and now has difficulty accepting that his daughter is moving on and leaving the home to be married. Eventually he becomes comfortable with the launching center and moves into middle aged parents where he enjoys time with his wife. In Father of the Bride II we are introduced to the father now coping with becoming a grandfather, aging family members. Like when his daughter was moving on and getting married he struggled with moving into the next stage of his life. 

I really enjoyed these two movies and feel like they are good examples of how a nuclear family goes through the life cycle and the transitions between the stages. The movies do a good job of bringing a good balance of comedic relief to the idea of family development but also shows what I believe to be a very realistic picture of the difficulties that can happen when transitioning to new stages. I speak from experience, because when I got married and new I was leaving my parents home for good it was difficult both for me and my mom. 

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Unit 4- Structural Functionalism

The structure of the family is a topic we have talked about in every unit thus far. Structural Functionalism focuses heavily on the roles each family member is supposed to have and how it contributes to society as a whole. One of the concepts in this theory is the benchmark family. The benchmark family  is the traditional family with a husband and wife and their children. The husband is the sole provider for the home and the wife is to stay at home and maintain the home, her husband, and her children. Well according to this theory my husband and I are not in equilibrium.

My husband and I do have roles in our relationship but they are not the same type of roles that are mentioned in this theory. First off I think it's fabulous when a women makes a choice to stay home, but only if it's a choice. In my relationship both my husband are equal breadwinners with no intention of me stopping even when there are children involved. We divide and conquer the house work and the cooking together. There are times where it has fallen on me to do the majority of the domestic chores but that was out of necessity. My husband and I both fulfill the instrumental and expressive roles. Depending on the situation, I can be instrumental in my approach, I am very task-oriented and sometimes I just want to know how to get to where I am going in-spite of what may be happening. The flip side to that is my husband at times can be very expressive. There is nothing I love more than after a rough day finding a random sticky note on my side of the bed with some words of encouragement. I do believe in the importance of family and it's structure in today's society but I find this theory to be very dated and in need of some new research.

Just one example I can give of where the benchmark family is not always what it seems, comes from a former student. To the public this family had it all; a husband who worked, a wife who was Susie homemaker, a son who played high school sports, and my former student who was their dirty little secret. My student was a threat to their desire to be a benchmark family and he had to be dealt with in private and quickly because no one could know. Unfortunately for my student this meant he did not always get the mental health help he needed due to risk of being seen going into the "crazy doctor". This family also had other issues that played out like a lifetime movie; drug use, physical and emotional abuse, and infidelity. Keeping up with the Jones' is not always beneficial, especially when the Jones' are probably hiding some big skeletons.

Blog 3-Social Interactionism

Symbols are very powerful. I used to look at pictures like this and feel moved and patriotic. The idea of war was scary and I always hoped for better solutions, and the pictures of soldiers funerals, and soldiers coming home always invoked sadness for the families. All those feelings changed for me when my husband came home a year ago and told me he spoke to a recruiter. My husband and I had been married for 3 years and was trained chef. one day he decided he would stop by and get some information, and from that point on things moved quickly. My husband said he wanted to serve our country, and I mean who can say no that! After much conversation and advice from our family and friends he enlisted and went to boot camp September 3, 2013. Since then these symbols have a much deeper meaning to me. They still invoke sadness and pride but now it's personal. There are also feelings of fear. War is no longer something terrible that affects other families, now it affects me.

SI talks a lot about how symbols have meaning and that meaning can be different for each individual. There are some symbols that are cultural norms such a circle with a line through it signifying no, or a red octagon signifying stop, but then there are symbols such as the one above that can have personal meaning as well as societal meaning. The American Flag is used to represent the United States but it can also signify many different things to a individual. I once looked at those symbols proud to be an American and now I  look at them proud of my hero!